Thank you

For having such incredibly high standardsYet being the One that carries me over.For showing me where I need to growBut never belittling me.For walking on waterSo I can keep my feet dry.For kissing my faceWhen all it deserved was spit.For denying yourselfSo I could be found.For holding me dearYet never coddling my foolishness.Thank you for […]

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Clouded dawn

There are morningsWhen the night hasn’t washed off.When last night’s complaintsAre still bitter in the mouth,When my eyes are crustedFrom the tears of ungodly hours,When anxiety and fearHave wrung out bile from my members,When I have lain for hoursBut found no rest.The clouded dawnHides the beauty our hearts needTo face another day,And keeps out the […]

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Prayer for mental health

LORD God,God over my mindDesigner of my imaginationNot a thought occurs to meWith You knowingNot an inklingGoes by without You seeing.Yet anxiety drips all over my soulLike acid rainSouring my sleepAnd denigrating my waking hours.My thoughts have plunged me deepInto places so darkThey have ceased to scare me.I am too tired to tryToo worn out […]

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On self-harm

We are always just one decision awayFrom self-destruction.One bitter thought awayFrom sabotaging our relationships,One attitude of self-pity away fromMaking every moment about ourselves.Our propensity towards self-harmIs disturbingly persistent.Desiring the forbidden fruitAs though none of the others were good enough,Leaning into our depravityAs though it were in our best interests to do so.We need saving-Not just […]

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Fighting for atmostphere

Pessimism is too costly.Worst case scenario projectingIs really never worth it.We are negative to our own perilDoubtful to our own destructionWe gain little from smallmindnessAnd victimhood earns us peanuts.Wake up!You are not obligatedTo that downward spiral. Why are you cast down, O my soul,    and why are you in turmoil within me?Hope in God; for I […]

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Here again

In deep need of mercyAching for graceFor Something bigger than meTo get me outside of meAnd help me see that my fearsDon’t actually blot out the sun.When earth’s darkest dayGives way to earth’s darkest nightThere will be OneWho will do more than merely gentrify the darkness.No.He has waded into our sadnessImmersed Himself in our filthHe […]

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More than yesterday

This journey with GodIs not a walk towardsIncreasing independenceAs though He were a teacherWho is expectant that one dayI’ll graduate to a lifeWithout need of Him.In HimThere is no coming of age,No handling of my businessApart from Him,No upgrade to self-sufficiencyTo a life embedded in the self-will.To walk with the FatherIs to know you are […]

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Renunciation

We are not yetFully realized.There are bars withinTo be brokenBattles of the soulTo be wonHabits of the heartTo be undoneSelf-destructive pathsTo be walked back.Beneath our insecuritiesAnd strongholdsLies a version of ourselvesSo brightSo wholeSo fully human.O for the day whenWhen we see the face in the mirrorWe’d always sensed was thereBut never dared to believeCould exist.

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His weapons are mighty

And are able to turn the tide Far more effectively than yours: The guilt tripping,  The manipulation  The wishful thinking. He knows what it takes  To make an old man new  To bring a dead woman to life, For His weapons are mighty  Destroying not just the obstacles we see But the very constructs behind […]

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Rooting for you

I wish you well.Not a superficial wishThat you might haveA storm free lifeBut a soul-deep wholenessThat stubbornly holds true in timesOf affliction.And yes, you are afflicted,Your body has betrayed youYour mind is frazzledYour spirit forlorn-You’ve taken a beatingAnd its okay to say so.I am rooting for you,That you find a placeTo lay your burdens,And find […]

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